Meat Muser Gifts

"The steak is here to give its full consent."

Live chickens shivering above a frozen food case. Below them is a sign that reads, 'Frozen chicken thighs.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

Changing Room Decisions

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"This dinner party's going to a take a but of work."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"But am I happy? Very."

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"You're everyman? But I thought I was everyman."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"Oh, that's my cousin. I'm the Bluebird of Mid-Life Existential Despair!"

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Martha, I've just discovered where Uncle George has gotten to"

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

Cafe Philosophique

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

Covid 19 Variant

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"