Morning Muser Gifts

Morning Procrastination

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Full English Breakfast.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Shoot For The Moon

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

The coffee's not working.

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'My acne is worst on the dark side.'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

Munch Master.

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

"You're everyman? But I thought I was everyman."

"You've got an inferiority complex, alright, but what's worse is...it's not a very good one."

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

"But am I happy? Very."

'I was happier when I was unhappy.'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.

'It's my dreams: I find them offensive.'

Covid 19 Variant