Home Muser Gifts

"I like to sit here and look at all the things I don't have."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Hello? Missing Persons?'

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Changing Room Decisions

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"OK, now you can sing your heart out."

God's map of the universe

A sailor in his little yacht bobbing on the waves

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Mr. Briggs' Adventures in the Highlands, part 8.

"Some people say you can't put a price on a wife's twenty-seven years of loyalty and devotion. They're wrong."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'When I asked how much memory you had left I was asking about your computer, not you.'

'I thought elephants never forgot, but according to these results you have alzheimer's disease.'

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

No, "enlightenment" is on the next peak. I teach "ignorance is bliss."

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"But am I happy? Very."

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

Covid 19 Variant

Barbershop customer's reflection mocks his haircut.

society of cartoonists...

"And then it hit me: I got up early for THIS? A slimy, cold worm? I HATE worms!"

'My good memory is a curse: There are things I would like to forget...'

Cafe Philosophique

Good golly! I'm some kind of bird!

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."