Mental Health Muse Gifts

'Nobody understands my job title.'

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

Nun Binning the Devil

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

Post-psychoanalysis

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'