Mental Health Muse T-Shirts

'Nobody understands my job title.'

"My whole life, …. I've never wanted to be anything other than a psychiatric patient."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

T-Shirt reads: 'Out of mind, I won't be back.'

Nun Binning the Devil

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'Do you know how much it cost me to LEARN all this psychobabble?'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."

If dogs were psychiatrists.

'Psychoanalysis is passé. I suggest we ask for asylum in France.'

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

Man Gives Computer Therapy/

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Post-psychoanalysis

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'