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How To Maximise Your Anxiety

Optimistic Paranoia.

"It's hard for me to tell if my father's having been in the delivery room when I was born is a real factor in my over-all sense of well-being."

"And do you feel that you are a pretender?"

'I hesitate to call it angst; it's more like angstyishness.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'If you don't notice an improvement after a few weeks, we can try a different cone.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Why do you feel you have an inner conflict?"

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"You must learn to let go."

'Now while you're cranking the Jack in the Box Tommy, I want you to tell me your thoughts.'

If dogs were psychiatrists.

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"I'm going to probe the depths of Mr. Osgood's psyche, Miss Wigley - Have the smelling salts ready."

"You really are one hell of a therapy dog."

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

Welcome: How Does that Make You Feel?

"I don't need therapy, but I'm concerned about my avatar. He's pretty screwed up."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'It's called doctor-patient confidentiality. In layman's terms, you're paying me to keep my mouth shut.'

"If I didn't worry all the time what would I do with myself?"

"That's ridiculous. I do not have a superiority complex."

"You've got to want to connect the dots, Mr. Michaelson."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

Analyst has an ink blot on a card for a head.

Brunel sees his psychiatrist

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."