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'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

Psychologist warns patient about his fish. 'Careful...the gold one is passive-aggressive.'

'You can begin.. I'm on HOLD..'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

World Cup Fever

Psychobabbling brook.

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

'Hey, Lori! Take a look at Mr. Geckler's EKG!'

"I have to tell you, I got a totally different diagnosis from someone named PookyPoo on medi-answer.com."

"Good?"

Patient after an appendix operation

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"You'll be discharged quickly after surgery and placed in our mobile recovery unit: a taxi home."

Coma for twenty years

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

'I think he'll be okay. He had a mild brush stroke.'

A woman stops at a building directory sign for Centers for Diseases.

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

'We'll get to work on your inferiority complex as soon as you go back outside and wipe those filthy feet.'

Waiting room scene and signs that say 'Dr. Ooze's Clinic - As seen on TV.'

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

". . . And you're mean. Other psychologists would at least give their wife a discount. . ."