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"I find myself correcting people a lot lately."

Psychobabbling brook.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'The Neurosis Pack.'

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

Bob's mother drove him crazy - but at least she came to visit.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"Our operators are all busy. You are second in the queue."

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Oh, Freud is too darn hard to read -- I switched to Dr. Phil years ago.'

Psychologist warns patient about his fish. 'Careful...the gold one is passive-aggressive.'

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

'We'll get to work on your inferiority complex as soon as you go back outside and wipe those filthy feet.'

"You're not the first patient I've had who thinks he's a dog, Mr Buxton, so please, get up on the couch."

". . . And you're mean. Other psychologists would at least give their wife a discount. . ."

Even medical students sometimes have to repeat a year.

'Oh, great! Now I'm depressed too!'

"Your blood pressure is hitting the jackpot today."

'Don't let it bother you - heck, some people think I'm nuts!'

Doctor - "Oh this is interesting.. You are dead."

'I get better results with a live elephant and an invisible fence.'

'I'm too trusting - I need some paranoia.'

'Most of your repressed memories involve not paying my fees.'

"I've no idea where they are - maybe they're all ill."

Professional psychiatrist!

"That's the one thing we flies cannot abide... closure."

'I hear voices doctor, and sometimes I smell their breath!'

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'

'He's had a much healthier attitude to our financial woes since he started taking prescription anti-depressants.'

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

"You don't need an antidepressant. I'm prescribing 2 cute, internet, cat videos a day for 10 days."

The voice in Myron's head was a psychologist. It didn't say too much, it would just listen to Myron's problems and send him a bill every month.