Military Contractor Gifts

The Unknown Military Contractor

"When you get down to it, Dave, we're all about people: people helping people to kill people."

"Sadly, all good things must come to an end."

Socialist Military vs. Private Military

"Ah, Master Turnip, I see you're on a defence contract too!"

Does that mean we got the War Office contract, Harris?

Blackwater and The Statue of Freedom.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Servicemen.

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Military Medals

WW2 fighter pilot with emoji kills

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Tool Box

Baby pram as a tank

HDQTRS division, Motor Pool and Covert Ops.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

God's Subcontractors

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Decorated officer - 'And these are for keeping my pants up.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

Trump

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'