Government Contractor Gifts

Job Creation Scheme.

'I know government contracts saved us, but I still don't think we should have to hear the national anthem every morning.'

"Gerald, did you invite open tenders for mowing the lawn?"

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

Rhonda lands a lucrative government contact when it's discovered that her holiday fruitcakes are bullet-proof.

'Please give all you can spare -- it's to bribe a Senator to get the firm a Government contract.'

'Please give all you can spare -- it's to bribe a Senator to get the firm a Government contract.'

Next Shutdown

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

The Anti-Agent

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

Trump pardons

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"National security adviser"

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Yes, I know they fit, it's just not what I pictured for a three car garage!"

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Tool Box

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

This will be an environmentally sound house built entirely from trees that fell over naturally from old age.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

God's Subcontractors

CIA report