Midlife Merrymaker Gifts

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

May your Christmas be full of harmony

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"The club scene is really changing."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

Little Piano

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

Wedding Special: Buy one get your next one free

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

Marriage Heaven

Wrap music

Supper.

Make-your-own-fun at the morgue.

Fifty

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."

"I think they were a civilization that celebrated middle age!"

"I'm not kidding, Phil! You really ARE the poster child for middle-aged, disillusioned and down-hearted businessmen everywhere!"

"By making the medical experience more like the shopping experience we're hoping the patient will have more fun."