Midlife Merrymaker T-Shirts

How's your midlife crisis going, Al? That turned out to be a false alarm, doctor. Today after a heavy lunch I realized it's just a midriff crisis.

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

May your Christmas be full of harmony

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

"The club scene is really changing."

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

'With this ring I thee dropped it -'

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

'I drank 10 pints of rum.'

Little Piano

'Just think, darling - tomorrow the cooking will be all mine and the dishes yours!'

'Would it upset you is I said I'm not bothered if your heart isn't in it?'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

"I’ll give you my answer in ... just ... one ... minute."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

The dark secret about where the Easter Bunny gets the candy...

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

Please visit www.frtn_cookie.com.

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

Wedding Special: Buy one get your next one free

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

Marriage Heaven

Make-your-own-fun at the morgue.

Wrap music

Supper.

Fifty

'I'm here for making house calls to the homes of doctors at 3am.'

"I think they were a civilization that celebrated middle age!"

Santa Claus Christmas Texting

"Thanks but, 'you'll do' isn't a ringing endorsement of officiating your wedding."