Mid-life Mirth Maker Gifts

'That's as maybe, mister Frimley, but there's still no such thing as inner-child benefit.'

Middle-Age Superheroes

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Whenever it comes, Glenda, my death will be untimely."

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

"Do you have any books on releasing the tiger within?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure aging naturally and aging gracefully are mutually exclusive."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

'Yeah, I hate change, too.'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"I don't think your old sports jersey shrunk. I think you grew."

Short on top, medium on the sides, and not bald in back.

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'In denial and loving it!'

A sign hangs from the front of the Sunnyvale Nudist Camp - 'Join Today - 100% Off!'

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

'I think out quarterly report should call it a 'negative upward trend'.'

"Tell me this is just your mid-life crisis."

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

How's your midlife crisis going, Al? That turned out to be a false alarm, doctor. Today after a heavy lunch I realized it's just a midriff crisis.

'She says her wrinkles are laughter lines, but nothing is that funny!'

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

A middle aged cow.

'I suppose they call it 'Middle age' because that is where you age shows...'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

Same Sexless Marriage

"I'm going to need a hug, Maurice - it's from the A.A.R.P."

'I'm 43, but I'm having it changed to 38 by deed poll.'

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

'OK, OK, you got me. YOu just couldn't let it go, could you.'

"So are the results not very good?"