Money Mirth-maker Gifts

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'But I do have fun, I have lots of fun. I have lots of fun making lots of money.'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

Money Tree

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

Little Piano

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'Now what's all this about a money making scheme?'

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

Merry Christmas!

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'I think out quarterly report should call it a 'negative upward trend'.'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Make the world a better place. If not that, then make lots of money so we can stay above it all."

"Money doesn't make me happy, but I've learned never to be a quitter."