Money Mirth-maker T-Shirts

'Chapter one. Don't waste your money. Don't buy useless crap like this stupid book'.

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

'But I do have fun, I have lots of fun. I have lots of fun making lots of money.'

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

Money Tree

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

Student about Biz Quick class: 'It's bite-size information in a 15 minute class that teaches you how to roll in the dough.'

Little Piano

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

"I cased the joint, and it turns out they'll just give you money if you work thirty-five hours a week as a teller."

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'Now what's all this about a money making scheme?'

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'I think out quarterly report should call it a 'negative upward trend'.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

Merry Christmas!

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

"I told you, no "funny business," Anderson."

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

Sheila finds a way to supplement her baby-sitting income.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Make the world a better place. If not that, then make lots of money so we can stay above it all."