Magical Moneymaker Gifts

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Investing your savings

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

"Everything's gone up."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

'Wait a minute....!

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

Snowing Money.

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Money Tree

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

The Speculators

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.