Magical Moneymaker Pillows

'Once you do transmute lead into gold, you'll find the market for it is very speculative.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'My ambition used to drive the economy. Now it drives my Mercedes.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Everything's gone up."

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

'Wait a minute....!

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

'Now all this stuff will finally begin to pay for itself - here's the formula for transmuting lead into gold.'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

'I had a great year and I wasn't even trying.'

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

Snowing Money.

Money Tree

"This is Pete, our cryptocurrency expert."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

The Speculators