Money Magic Pillows

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Time Is Money

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Investing your savings

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Everything's gone up."

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'Wait a minute....!

Man breaks piggy bank to find another smaller piggy bank inside.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

"This is Fluffy, my pet money."

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

Snowing Money.

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

'Life, liberty & the pursuit of tax shelters.'

'In today's economy, it's important to put some of your money under you mattress and bury some in backyard...'

"There's so much money around now we've started using it as toilet paper."

'Quick...follow that rainbow.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

The Speculators

Breaking Through

I got the raise

'The financial advisor is here.'

'The big bang theory of creation.'