Financial Magician Pillows

Remember, Art, statistics, credits and debits are in the eye of the manipulator.

"The accountant is here to see you Mr Smith."

"It's a simple recipe. Add politics to economics, you get tax law."

Piper being followed by cash.

"For my next trick, I shall turn four consecutive quarters of losses into a positive outlook going forward."

"Catch a falling star, put it in your pocket, but you didn't inform us you were saving it for a rainy day."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

Team Leader

Time Is Money

"I know other hospitals are worried about the superbug, but ours is the only one that understands the accounts system."

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Investing your savings

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"My accountant is brilliant - he has just had a loophole names after him!"

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'And this is my strategic money reserve.'

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"You haven't been laid off because you're the designated scapegoat."

Saving for College.

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"Everything's gone up."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"