Mega Tailgater Gifts

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Church for sports worshipers.

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'No JAMIE,you're NOT keeping any strays! Now GET rid of him and go wash up for dinner!...' / 'Sorry kiddo,i tried...'

"You've already been for a walk."

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'They do say they're a shy breed.'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Headshot of perky dog.

"No, I did not sniff you!"

'Is it just my imagination, or do we have a lot more relatives now that we're throwing a tailgate party?'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

"I think Tia Carmen has found her dream pot."

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"My dog is NOT a child substitute. Not according to his headmaster anyway."

Cocktailgating. . . .

"When did you become such a big animal lover?"

'How many times have I told you to limber up before tailgating?'

"I got you the same thing."

'Go long!'

"No, I'm not faking it, I'm really happy when they come home."

"I say you're spoiling that dog."

"I can die at peace now knowing your toe nails are neatly clipped."

'He hasn't got a tail, so he wags everything.'

"Sufferin' sagebrush, Cookie! You call this pasta 'Al Dente?!"

"Good dog!"