Medieval Period Gifts

'I have no time to see a salesman, I've got a battle to fight.'

'We just have to hope and pray they don't go around the side!'

"All right...hands up who loathes the welsh"

King Henry IV

Norman Wisdom

The Troubadour

"Okay, everybody! Time for our mid-battle raffle! And today's winning ticket is...numeral XXVII!"

'To be honest? A little claustrophobic.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"Move along. We're practicing social distancing here."

"Methinks this breastplate doth make me look fat."

"But I only restarted it three minutes ago."

"Remove any metal from your pockets."

'You call - we'll toss for Rape or Pillage!'

"What was life really like in the middle ages, Sadie?"

'I always carry a little mace in my purse, for protection.'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.