Medieval Era Gifts

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'It's safe to look, sire. There's a time-out on the battlefield. Our athletic trainer is taping up Sir Dwayne's twisted ankle.'

The committee for More Heinous Torture.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

Joust Sharpener

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

TV jester.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Oh great, the printer is down."