Medieval Era Gifts

"I hear it's because we're right and they're wrong."

'It's safe to look, sire. There's a time-out on the battlefield. Our athletic trainer is taping up Sir Dwayne's twisted ankle.'

The committee for More Heinous Torture.

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Knight Golfing

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

TV jester.

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Joust Sharpener

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."