Medieval Events Gifts

'Hey, is that an official thing or did your mom give you that shirt?'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"We're following Carrot Top."

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Swiss army knife

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Hildegard von Bingen

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"The knights of the round accent table"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Medieval Vacation: 'What? I am relaxed. I'm relaxing!'