Medieval Stories Gifts

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

"What do you mean slight margin of error?"

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

Dragon roasts a chicken impaled on a knight's sword.

'No big deal -- I'm just going over to Parliament to break a tie.'

"Oh no, I'm not the Lady of Shalott, I'm just the Lady of Plain Old Onions."

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight..."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

Lady of the bath...

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Joust Sharpener

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

The Beard in the Stone

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."