Medieval Storyteller Gifts

George and the dragon.

'Never MIND what Lady Godiva does!'

'Now we know why they call you Little John.'

"Oh no, I'm not the Lady of Shalott, I'm just the Lady of Plain Old Onions."

Jean de Joinville

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We only got six days of funding."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Eat my dust!"

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Phoenix

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Don Quixote

Santa CGI Effect

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

'Wine? Okay. I really don't care what you call it; let's invite over the two sisters from the cave next door.'

Witch dice.

Fairy tale

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

Atlas carrying Earth about to slip on banana peel.

Mammoth Posing

'It's the Mesolithic Age? - But I just got used to the PALEOlithic!'

fairy tales

'Do you mind if I share your post on my wall?'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"I don't know. He just said he had discovered something and we had to come over and see it."