Medieval Mythmaker Gifts

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"How the heck could you forget your sword?"

'Are you guys still watching the tapestry? Why don't you go outside it's such a nice day!'

The princess and the key

Knights

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

A dragon relaxing in a chair staring at a taxidermy knight's head above his fireplace.

"Me and my family are Equatorists. We worship an imaginary lion that runs around the earth forever."

God creates humans.

"Wouldn't it be cool to live in the middle ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords?"

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

'Legal says you'll need more diversity at your Round Table.'

"It's funny. . . I know it's the renaissance, but I keep writing dark ages on my checks!"

"Mummy was right: - I should've married the dragon...!"

'Your hanging baskets are looking good this year, Sir Ranolf.'

"This must be the pony daddy ordered for his little princess."

"What do you mean slight margin of error?"

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

'No big deal -- I'm just going over to Parliament to break a tie.'

'Razed any good cities lately?'

Soldier surveys castle ruins, saying: 'With hindsight, it was ambitious calling it a 'keep'.'

"Then the messenger shouldn't have been such a jerk."

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

"'Greetings in peace and love. This letter will bring you good luck. It has been around the world four times. Do not break the chain or you will have bad luck. Make 15 copies of ...''"

"I use Serf."

"Last chance - take back what you said about my wife."

'I can't undo anything - I've forgot my toolbox!'

"Look, Sire, I collected feedback from the people. They really like you!!"

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

A trap for Santa

"This is my favorite area. Every one here has been the subject of a hagiography."