Myth Maker Gifts

Billy listened spell-bound as his grandfather told him magical tales about the adventures of his ancestors.

Lore and legend of the Pennypackers

The Fact-Earther's Atlas

"Me and my family are Equatorists. We worship an imaginary lion that runs around the earth forever."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"'Start a company, make money.' Your business plan may be missing a few steps in the middle."

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

"No, it's twist and THEN turn."

God creates humans.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"Dad, is there really no tooth fairy, or is that just fake news from some Russian bot?"

"If only you knew. . ."

'It's King Midas... Quick, take the signs down!'

Moses parts the Red Sea.

"It's good luck."

'Grandpa, tell us again about you and Great-Grandpa William.'

"How does the stork figure into this?"

'Maybe next time. I never kiss on a first date.'

"John, the bees go on the outside."

"You'll go places in this company. Not really, but with our green screen, we can make it look that way."

'I just had a beer with Edward the Confessor - talk about too much information!'

If you want full cover for your cat I suggest you take out the nine lives policy.

A trap for Santa

'Yeah... and I'm the tooth-fairy!'

'Alright! Alright! So I made a mistake!'