Medieval Lore Gifts

"The road head is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

Good morning! My name's Julian, and I'll be your torturer today!

A knight dragging an unwilling maiden

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Joust Sharpener

"Buddy, you are screwed! Hey Jimmy, come see this!"

Night of the Round Tables

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Lady of the bath...

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

The Beard in the Stone

Missing You.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'