Medieval Literature Gifts

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

Lady of the bath...

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

Hildegard von Bingen

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

Swiss army knife

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Joust Sharpener

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Early model of baggage claim"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

The Beard in the Stone

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...