Medieval Literature Gifts

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Knight Golfing

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Lady of the bath...

"He's his own worst enemy."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"Early model of baggage claim"

Joust Sharpener

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Swiss army knife

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Hildegard von Bingen

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"The knights of the round accent table"

The Beard in the Stone

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Missing You.

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'