Medieval Literature Lover Gifts

'Confound it! - That moron Chaucer misspelled my name AGAIN!'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

Amimated illuminated Manuscript

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

"The road ahead is filled with danger. Take this lawyer for protection."

"We can conquer somebody with a bigger castle, or we can add on."

"But I only restarted it three minutes ago."

"He said 'Sumer is icumen in Lhude sing cuccu!' Why do you ask?"

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.

"Good King Worcestershire looked out on the feast of Stephen..."

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

"Hold the front page!"

'I'm drawing up a contingency plan just in case -- how would you like to drive the getaway car?'

Friendly Troll.

"How's that computer manual coming along?"

"I'd like something smaller – something with fewer walls to defend."

Didn't anyone tell Bob this is a surprise attack? Will call.

Early Reading Group . . .

'There's no business like show business.'

Dragon BBQs.

'What I like about working for Castle.com is the long term stability.'

'He's getting dreadfully lazy -- he fell asleep in front of the jester last night.'

"A couple more sieges and I'll go into political commentary."

Ingoldsby Legends - Page Boy Drowned in Barrel

"Sorry. We not longer accept payment in the form of 'Bawdy ballads of ribaldry and adventure.'"

"It was your job to make a grocery list and the only thing you have written down is 'Milk'???"

"Well, SOMEBODY hid Lady Godiva's sunblock!"

A bearded man holding a sword

"'Tis but a flurry."