Medieval Manuscript Lover Gifts

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

"How's that computer manual coming along?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Meet the scribe"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

TV jester.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

underwater knight

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Car joust.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.