Medieval Lover Gifts

"Have a safe trip!"

A dragon wearing a face mask

Dragon and Dragoff

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

Come here often?

King Edward II

"Well? How many likes did I get?"

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

'Be wary, my Liege, Arthur wants a round table.'

'Of course he's upset — Lady Godiva upset him in the primaries.'

'Sire, the peasants say you're just using them.'

"I saw your ad on the dating site, ma'am! You're looking for an old-fashioned man, aren't you?"

John Wycliffe

"Boy, the king really loves that "Suspended Sentence" joke, right?"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Ingoldsby Legends - Discovery of an Adultery

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"Ground score!"

"It sure doesn't feel like the Renaissance."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'A message from the Vikings, sire. It says, 'we've got spirit! Yes, we do! We've got spirit! How about you!?'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

"It appears to be a giant boil, sire."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'Thank goodness he's gone through sensitivity training.'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"I'm not an intern, I'm a squire. I'm not an intern, I'm a squire..."

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

The Archbishops says to stop adding emoticons.

'I envisioned something more robust'

"A fire-breathing dragon represents the conflict you have with the Lord of the Manor."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.