Medieval Satire Lover Gifts

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

'He's getting dreadfully lazy -- he fell asleep in front of the jester last night.'

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Dragon and Dragoff

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Dropping the Pilot'-the Fall of Bismarck

'Mind if I head off a little early today?'

A monk illustrates a manuscript with emojis

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

'And there he was shouting: 'A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!'... I thought to myself: Why not...'

Exotic Insects Arrive in England with Imported Fruit

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

"I can check again, but Mr. Saunders usually insists on the full wait."

"Oh stop it. You know perfectly well that before every battle the enemy shouts things at us that we may find offensive."

Knight offers his opponent a glass of wine.

Abraham Lincoln

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'What's this I hear about you running against me?'

"Ground score!"

Charles I

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

John Wycliffe

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

Duke of Wellington

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

"Hey!! Look!!!"

'Anyway it will do as a temporary structure.'

"Have a safe trip!"

Caveman waits for his money from a cash dispenser as behind the scenes another caveman chips away at a rock.

'From what you've told me, Lord Godiva, I think your wife is having a mid-life crisis.'

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"