Medieval Humor Lover Gifts

Oh, don't get all sciency on me – Just because the royal taster died doesn't mean the food's poisoned.

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Knight scaling Damson jam "It doesn't appear to be in distress my liege"

"Sorry. We not longer accept payment in the form of 'Bawdy ballads of ribaldry and adventure.'"

'I have the can-opener: Let's go knight hunting...'

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

"Well, SOMEBODY hid Lady Godiva's sunblock!"

I'm not sure satire was the right choice for a career...

"'Tis but a flurry."

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Knight feeding his kids.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"The knights of the round accent table"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Joust Sharpener

TV jester.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Oh great, the printer is down."

underwater knight

Knights of the bedside table.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'