Medieval Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"The chicken is for this year's taxes. The egg is my estimated for next year."

'Next vacation, I handle the camera. You always cut people's heads off.'

Where 'Pulled Pork' comes from.

Executioner: 'HEY, cut that out!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"We're following Carrot Top."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Knight feeding his kids.

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

TV jester.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Joust Sharpener

"The knights of the round accent table"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"Oh great, the printer is down."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

underwater knight

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Knights of the bedside table.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Car joust.

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.