Medieval Humorist Gifts

Do you do cremations?

Jester wanted. Mimes need not apply.

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Well, I didn

If I had known this is why he wanted the Holy Grail ...

I'm a "feudal monarch" --- Not a "serfer dude"!

Hold on, guys, there's a key under this fake rock!

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'Those new soldiers of yours are terrible.', 'That's just the first draft.'

'he was just a temp.'

'Ye olde optician.'

"What's a monarch gotta do to get a little serfice around here?"

''To forever commemorate this glorious victory I command on this very site the building of a magnificent gift shop.''

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

Arresting Adam and Eve

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

"So that's a one-eyed newt a toe-less frog a bald bat and a no tongued dog!" (Macbeth witch at the vets).

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

"Hey!! Look!!!"

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

Where 'Pulled Pork' comes from.