Medieval Humorist Gifts

Do you do cremations?

Jester wanted. Mimes need not apply.

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'Those new soldiers of yours are terrible.', 'That's just the first draft.'

'he was just a temp.'

'Ye olde optician.'

"What's a monarch gotta do to get a little serfice around here?"

''To forever commemorate this glorious victory I command on this very site the building of a magnificent gift shop.''

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

Arresting Adam and Eve

"I read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, but I wasn't Enlightened. . . but I did get the munchies."

"And now for the 'piece de resistance!'"

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"So that's a one-eyed newt a toe-less frog a bald bat and a no tongued dog!" (Macbeth witch at the vets).

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"Hey!! Look!!!"

"It's Him. he wants us to lay off until the Fruit Board has published this year's crop results."

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

Where 'Pulled Pork' comes from.

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

Medusa turning everyone in the 'Hard Rock caf�' into rock

'Don't be daft,woman-of course I'm not gonna FRY her!'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Excalibur.

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.