Medieval Humorists Gifts

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

"But they told me I was too big to fail."

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

The sword in the all-natural impossible-to-stir peanut butter.

'...I thought maybe your brain had developed the ability to reason before mine.'

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

Geekasaurus.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"Crap. I overslept."

We love the Rolling Stones...

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"So that's a one-eyed newt a toe-less frog a bald bat and a no tongued dog!" (Macbeth witch at the vets).

A knight struggling to fit into his armour

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"I think the lines down!"

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

"Hey!! Look!!!"

Where 'Pulled Pork' comes from.

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

Do you do cremations?

'Ethelred - What we're offering is the chance to consolidate all your Danegeld payments into one manageable lump sum.'

"They're in a statistical dead heat."

"Og is our VP in charge of rubbing sticks together."

'There's no business like show business.'

Chances of making it back to the castle by daybreak suddenly seemed slim.