Medieval Reenactments Gifts

'King Arthur's Court? I think it's that way. This is King Arthur's Boulevard.'

Knights' Status Report: Rusted out, Metal fatigue, Popped rivets, Bad welds, Squeaky hinges, Dents and dings.

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

Teutonic knights on a two tonic night!

"Sorry, I'm not into heavy metal."

Knights ride out of a castle.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Meet the scribe"

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Pirate

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Hipsters"

Sundial Time

Blue Dress and Feather

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Warrior Woman

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"I'd say business was brisk."

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Blue Dress

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock

"I have to pee!"

How Romans give each other a high five...