Medieval Re-enactor Gifts

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

A medieval printer screaming because his finger is caught in wooden printing press.

A Knight slides down the stair rail.

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

"I have to pee!"

Gaah! You sank my longship!

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

Man In The Stocks Used As A Clock