Fairytale Reenactor Gifts

'On waking, you found this gentleman molesting you. We know him miss, and he's charming by name, if not by nature.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But I use all of them!"

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

Siege of Vicksburg - Sappers Approach Confederate Fortifications

Gaah! You sank my longship!

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

"We've been victorious in many battles, and yet helmet hair remains our fiercest foe."

"Go back! The place is full of mold!"

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

'After A Knights Hard Day'