Medieval Reenactor Gifts

"Darn, I wore the wrong suit."

'We're doomed sire. The barbarians have more dodgeballs, and their throws are more accurate.'

'So....been here very long?'

Battle.

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

"Friend or foe?"

Medieval Consumerism

"Methinks hitting 'Reply to all' doth you a disservice, sire."

"You're taking this majestic falconry business too far, Rudolph."

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

"Heads or entrails?"

'To the best of my knowledge, I'm paying you the going rate for jesters. What makes you think you're getting a royal screwing?'

"You are supposed to put the bells on the pigs bladder not on yours!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Surely you jest!'

'What's worse it that its junk mail.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"I hope no one gets hurt."

"I'll be over at Geoffrey d'Anglouleme's place, settling his hash."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

Mortally Wounded at the Battle of Quebec, General James Wolfe Forgets His Last Words

Goddess