Medieval Reenactor Mugs

"OK, you numbskulls, let's try this again. This time, keep your eyes on the door."

"Darn, I wore the wrong suit."

'We're doomed sire. The barbarians have more dodgeballs, and their throws are more accurate.'

'So....been here very long?'

Battle.

Soldier in medieval battle says: 'Oi, take it easy! This is an English Heritage site.'

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

"Friend or foe?"

Medieval Consumerism

"Methinks hitting 'Reply to all' doth you a disservice, sire."

"You're taking this majestic falconry business too far, Rudolph."

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

"Heads or entrails?"

'To the best of my knowledge, I'm paying you the going rate for jesters. What makes you think you're getting a royal screwing?'

"You are supposed to put the bells on the pigs bladder not on yours!"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Surely you jest!'

'You idiots! This isn't boiling oil! It's french onion soup!'

'What's worse it that its junk mail.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Looks like this siege could last awhile, sire -- The huns are building microbreweries!

"I hope no one gets hurt."

"I'll be over at Geoffrey d'Anglouleme's place, settling his hash."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Missing You.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.