Historical Re-enactor Gifts

'What do you suppose 'Merry Christmas' means?'

'Surely thou canst not believe I'll fall for that one!'

"But I use all of them!"

... then a rattlesnake popped up and spooked the horses. They started running uncontrollably! We were speeding toward the canyon rim and just about to plunge thousands of feet when I yanked on the reins and loudly yelled a command to the horses! We stopped with only inches to spare! There goes Ernie again -- telling his tale of "whoa!"

If I had known this is why he wanted the Holy Grail ...

The Bombardment of Fredericksburg, before Army of the Potomac's Crossing

'It's the technology of the future.'

'I dunno, Friar Tuck. Sometimes I think I preferred the hidout before our visit from the 'Ground Force' team.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Pirate

Knight Golfing

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Piracy on a boating lake

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

Sundial Time

"Hipsters"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

Blue Dress