Historical Reenacting Gifts

"Are you sure you're in the right group?"

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Meet the scribe"

Pirate

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Sundial Time

"Hipsters"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'I think they're up to something.'

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Goddess

"But I use all of them!"

Blue Dress

"I'd say business was brisk."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"