Historical Re-enactment Gifts

'Shall we call it a draw?'

Return from a Suburban Party

"Well, if you know of a better military re-enactment club, go to it."

"I'm sorry. A suit AND tie are necessary."

Remote control pirate bully

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"Meet the scribe"

Pirate

Piracy on a boating lake

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Blue Dress and Feather

Sundial Time

"Hipsters"

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

'I think they're up to something.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

Blue Dress

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

"I'd say business was brisk."