Historic Reenactment Gifts

Early Goths.

Knight brushing his teeth in his armor.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"Meet the scribe"

Pirate

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

Piracy on a boating lake

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Hipsters"

Blue Dress and Feather

Sundial Time

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

Before putting on your armor...always check for mice!

'I think they're up to something.'

"I definitely said I needed a BOLD knight."

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"Kid!! We know you're in there!!! Either come out or commence to fightin'!!!!"

Blue Dress

"But I use all of them!"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Hudibras - 2 - The manner how he sallies forth.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"I'd say business was brisk."