Medieval Battles Gifts

"Been injured in battle? Tripped or fell? You may be entitled to compensation."

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Knight Golfing

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"Honey, where did you put my Green Lantern cufflinks?!"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Epic Battles

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Missing You.

The Beard in the Stone

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

Dragon Recycling the Knights it has defeated

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'I think they're up to something.'

"'Tis but a scratch — in America, I'd still have to go in for work today."

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"There isn't a siege. We're all in line for the bouncy castle."

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

'Tell the salesman to come back later, I'm busy.' (black and white).

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."