Medieval Warlord Gifts

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'The grudge match.'

'Honey, I'm Rome!'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

'I envisioned something more robust'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

'Just like mother used to make.'

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

Trial by combat: Macaire and the Dog of Montargis.

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

"Thorg guards our front gate. Gar watches the back wall. And Helman is in charge of cyber security."

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

"The battle for the living room war about to heat up."

"Is it just me, or does it also look to you like their resistance is feudal?"

"Couldn't we just call it a day and send out some nasty Tweets about them."

'I don't think Ed wants to make the crusades come alive for the kids. I think Ed is afraid of the kids.'

Sunburn.

!Pizza deliver boy!"

"Told you we shouldn't list each other as emergence contacts."

"Where should we hold this confrontation then?"

"Nice moat."

'You idiot! That one had chips in it.'

Chess Trainer

Florine of Burgandy and her Fiance Fighting Alongside the Son of the King of Denmark (History of the Crusades).

"When your only tool is a trebuchet, every problem looks like a siege."

'It's no big deal - Scotland is just out of compliance again.'

"Another miss, sir."

1338 - Start of the hundred years war

"Bon pillage!"