Medieval Monarch Gifts

'Can we wait till tomorrow to go out to dinner? -- My Dungeons & Dragons group meets tonight!'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

King George I

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"Surprise!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

British Prime Minister

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Ale. Mead. It's been a hard knight's day!

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"But I use all of them!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

The Royal Wii.

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'