Medieval Master Gifts

'What do you mean, you've used up your advance?'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"We're following Carrot Top."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Knight feeding his kids.

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

Joust Sharpener

TV jester.

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Swiss army knife

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Oh great, the printer is down."

Sir gawain had been duped....it was a damson in distress

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Knights of the bedside table.

underwater knight

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Good work pulling the sword from the stone. Now, how 'bout loosening the lid on the magic pickle jar?'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Car joust.

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Who ordered a pizza?"